Is Anyone Gonna Tell Her?

The article you’re about to read was written by me last summer, before senior year started. I’ve now gone back and reflected, and my reflection will be typed in bold type. 

7-9-21

So today I received an email about the upcoming tennis season, and our coach mentioned the three seniors- Jeannine, Megan (me), and Kendyl. This was before Lily decided to play. And even though I’ve known (obviously) that I’m going to be a senior this year, seeing my name listed as a senior was kind of an eye opener because it’s real, it’s really happening. I’m going to be a senior. And this will probably be the last season of tennis that I play. I’m just calling it now, I’m going to cry. I didn’t. 

Something about experiencing all of your “last’s” is just really emotional. Is it really? This will be my last season of tennis, and I will have my last musical, and I will have my last choir concert, and I will write my last article for The Knight Times, and I will go to my last dance, and before I know it, I will have my last full day of school (because seniors spend the last few days practicing for graduation and leaving early), and then it will be the real actual last day of waking up and coming to school and leaving school and then coming back to the school, sitting with my peers for the last time before we all graduate. Jesus, what a run on sentence. Then we really leave for the last time. (Although let’s face it, that will not be the last time for a lot of us, we’ll all be back at some point and half of us will probably have children in the future that go to Knoch). Has anyone else noticed that that is just the way of the world around here? But still. 

Amidst my amazement at the fact that this is my senior year, I went through almost a bit of denial because this can’t be it. How did the years pass by so quickly? I swear I’m a freshman. 

I still remember my schedule freshman year and the people in those classes and the exact table in the junior cafeteria that Lexi, Lauren, Brooke, and I sat at during lunch. I remember all of the choir music that we sang in Women’s Ensemble freshman year, and who my “big sister” was and who I had in the Secret Santa and what I got her. 

I remember exactly what I did before the winter choir concert freshman year. I made the mistake of watching Titanic while eating an English muffin (the blueberry kind ‘cause they’re the best trueeee) and I cried before I had to go to the school to sing because it’s Titanic he could’ve fit on the door, just saying and if you don’t cry when watching it then you’re a monster. 

And I remember how the boys in my freshman year academic biology class BEGGED Mrs. Venesky to play the Avengers: Endgame trailer during class and she did. Then they made a list of the order she could watch all of the Marvel movies in so she could be caught up by the time Endgame came out. 

I remember sophomore year too (specifically 5th period history with B Money and Juicy J and of course, Dade George). 

Heck, I remember the Discovering Literature Storytelling play in 8th grade when Nick was SUPPOSED to say “With the pocket watch of course” but accidentally said “With the microphone of course”. We looked at each other on stage and he claims I had a horrified look on my face, but that is one of my funniest memories that I have. 

Going way back to elementary school, I remember in 5th grade accidentally getting black dry erase marker on my pink shirt on picture day, but luckily that happened AFTER I had my picture taken. 

And if we’re going back to primary school, I also remember in 2nd grade having my picture RETAKEN that year because my mom thought I smiled weird the first time. Clearly someone needs to move on. Can you guys tell I’m nostalgic? Really? 

I remember all of this stuff happening- and so, so much more- which is what makes it even crazier that it’s almost over. This is my last year. And as much as I’ve been waiting for this to come, I’m so sad. God, why? The end is sad. But I’m excited. I’m so, so excited for this year maybe I was manifesting it (I’m writing this in the summer after all, and senior year hasn’t even happened yet). 

So I’m excited for this year, and I hope that at the end of the year I can reflect and that it will have lived up to my excitement. Anyone gonna tell her? But I’m warning you, at all of my last’s- last match no, last banquet no, last musical yes, last concert no– I will cry. I will bawl my eyes out. And at graduation, I will cry, because it will be (probably) the most bittersweet feeling ever. I won’t cry unless other people start crying. 

Ahhhhhh!!! I just don’t want to stop writing now. Just ‘cause I like to write, not necessarily about school. Here’s to a good- no. Here’s to a great year! Yep, definitely manifesting it. 

God, that was cringy. I have no idea why I wrote this or why I was so excited, but this has been one of the worst years. To quote Mr. Limbacher though, “It will all get better before you get married.”