The Correct Take
My Wild Thoughts on the Halftime Performance
March 8, 2023
This past Sunday, Feb. 12th, the annual event of grown men going rabid on each other for a rubber ball took place once again: Super Bowl Sunday! But for many, the game isn’t what they tune in for, and the real event is the halftime show. This years show was so anticipated that it actually raked in more viewers than the actual game, which I personally think is extremely chuggin. For those of you who weren’t up to date on this years halftime show, or thought that the Super Bowl was an intense bowling game or a very comically large bowl, this years performer was the one and only, Rihanna.
Now, this may seem like a peculiar choice, since Rihanna hasn’t come out with an album since 2016 (please goddess bless us with another album we are literally begging I feel like I’ve been experiencing withdrawal for the past 7 years), with her only musical presence being her song for the new Black Panther movie. Regardless, she was selected, they thawed her out, and she got out there on her Super Smash Bros. platform set and slayed. This performance has had some people asking for their QUARTERBACK, while others felt like she was the ONLY GIRL in the world right for the job. I, as always, am coming to the rescue to settle this dispute.
Some factors that I think ought to be considered for context is the fact that Rihanna was PREGNANT, so OBVIOUSLY she’s not going to be doing like backflips and triple front handsprings, come on guys, lets cut her some slack. Also, sometimes I think people expect a whole concert? But the performance can really only be like 20 minutes long? So maybe lower your unrealistically high standards?
With that context, you can probably assume what side I take, and I am indeed defending bad girl Ri-Ri. I mean, she was levitating while WITH CHILD!!!! I also thought that the other background dancers were absolutely serving, even though they did look a bit goofy. But then again, don’t we all? Some haters are complaining that there weren’t other performers, but I think that they have last years performance still in mind where there were a crap ton of older 90s-00s rappers and such. I was also a huge fan of that show, but sometimes, having a solo artist is OK. It is going to be OK guys, I promise.
All in all, this halftime show was bomb as heck. I think the opening song was an interesting choice, but I’m not necessarily mad at it. She looked gorgeous, the set was epic, and now I am once again getting my hopes up for a new album. Please Rihanna, don’t play with my feelings anymore. You can’t keep leading me on like this. Give us the album.