We Fail as One

What Knoch Students are Embarrassingly Bad at

March 2, 2023

As mothers across the world would say:

“No, don’t say that, you did great today, everyone has their own talents”

This is code for: you aren’t good at this particular thing, just put into nicer words so they don’t hurt their child’s feelings. Everyone is bad at something and that is a prime factor in bonding with others. Whether it’s that you struggle with the same skill or different ones, you can get a laugh out of it and know everyone else is struggling just like you.


Ava Santora

We are starting off with a fairly normal thing to be bad at, cooking. There is a very high number of people that are just terrible cooks, just do a quick google search and you can find absurd “dishes” that barely pass as food. Friends and family of junior Ava Santora all believe that Santora should not be allowed in the kitchen. Santora herself agrees with them that her cooking skills are not up to par with most. 

“I’m a horrible cook,” said Santora. “I try to stay away from having to cook as much as humanly possible.”

She says that her friends constantly bash her cooking to which Santora believes they over exaggerate how bad it actually tastes. She claims that the food ends up okay and that she just has a habit of setting off the fire alarm, not that the food itself would gag and repulse someone.

Santora said, “My cooking is edible bro. It just ain’t five star”


Erin Corcoran

Strapping yourself to two wooden planks and sending oneself down a mountain covered in a mix of ice and snow is not easy for some, and senior Erin Corcoran is no exception. Corcoran has a complex love-hate relationship with skiing.

“I love to ski, but skiing hates me, it seems,” said Corcoran. “But I still have a blast while rolling down the hill.”

Despite her positivity around skiing and her persistence in trying to get better, Corcoran still remains at a beginner level. She says her friends support her through her difficulties with skiing; however, if you ask them about it they will proceed to laugh at her skills and tell you that she is horrible. 


Aiden Froedtert

Dancing is a form of art in itself, and some people should just admire it instead of trying to imitate it themselves. Sadly for junior Aiden Froedtert, called out by his own girlfriend, he has always been in a losing battle with dancing, comparing himself to a baby giraffe trying to walk. He says his best moves have been shown at homecoming (particularly during the Cotton Eyed Joe) and during his time in the sixth grade literature live performance. Watch out for any flailing arms or legs on the dance floor and watch out because, “You never know when I’ll have to bust out the Griddy or the Stanky Leg!”


Alyssa Gallagher

Mini golfing is a right of passage in life, everyone has done it. The most trouble people have is just aiming the golf ball into the hole, but senior Alyssa Gallagher somehow finds it hard to keep the ball on the ground. She is an absolute menace on the green, and not in a good way.

“I was told after the first hole that I belonged at the driving range and not the mini golf course,” said Gallagher. “I hit a family, a couple, and was threatened to be booted”

Others around her and herself are in danger when Gallagher goes mini golfing. She struggles with her swing power, aim during putting, tapping the ball into the hole, and avoiding people. I don’t think you can get worse than this. She should try her luck in actual golf.

“Please do not take me mini golfing unless you need an ego boost and want to laugh really hard.”

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About the Contributor
Photo of Jessica McCalip
Jessica McCalip, Editor in Chief
Hello! I'm Jessica McCalip a senior here at Knoch. I am in class cabinet and the president of German club. I have been playing soccer for 14 years and have been skiing for even longer. I have a strong hatred for the sound of plastic or Styrofoam rubbing together and Nicolas cage. I am also not a fan of Willow Danehy and could totally win a fight against her since she is so tiny. :)

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