So You Think I Can Bake?

So You Think I Can Bake?

Cheesecake Catastrophe

December 12, 2022

Tears, fire, blood, crime, anarchy, destruction, gut-wrenching, nightmarish, grizzly, gruesome.  All of these words could be used to describe my most recent baking venture.

November 16th was the date, the day of reckoning.  For those of you who don’t know, the beautiful Jessica Ezmerelda McCalip’s birthday is November 17th, so about a week before, I gave her some options of baked goods I’d make for her as a present.  She decided on a coconut cheesecake (the hardest of all the options I gave her, thanks a lot Jessica -_-).  So I geared up, went on a LENGTHY shopping trip, got home an hour later than expected because my MOM needed her SALAD GREENS -_-, and then got down to the grind.

I was going through the steps, doing my thang; whipped up the batter, tasted bomb as beans, then popped that sucker in the oven.  The trickiest part of a cheesecake is knowing when it’s done, since the cake is still supposed to be a bit wobbly when you take it out of the oven, but not TOO wobbly.  So it gets done, I “get in there (Yeah yeah)”, and let it cool in the oven a bit so as not to shock it – cheesecakes are kind of like baby kangaroos, you have to keep them a bit warm and close to home before setting it free to completely cool down.  All that I have left to do is put it in the fridge before I go to bed, and I will succeed.

I wake up the next morning with a concerning text from my mom:

I let the use of the wrong form of were go and moved on to worrying about the well being of my cake.  Tears.  Sobs.  Wails.  All of these things are what my family heard that morning.  After my hours of preparation, waiting, and anticipating, my masterpiece had been rendered useless.  The sound of me scraping it off the pan straight into the trash will forever haunt me in my nightmares.

After a couple of tearful Snapchat messages to Jessica begging for forgiveness, I decided to do it all over again that afternoon.  I did it, it was freaking awesome, ego totally restored, happy ending!

Anyways, if you want to know anything about the recipe or how to bake it, keep scrolling!  Just DO NOT FORGET to refrigerate it.

*For the cheesecake: I added a couple teaspoons of coconut extract along with vanilla for an extra coconut kick!

*For the frosting:  I didn’t do a cream cheese frosting like they said, I thought it would be too heavy and rich for an already rich dessert.  Instead, I made a coconut whipped cream, which is just heavy whipping cream, powdered sugar, and a bit of vanilla and coconut extract.

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About the Contributor
Photo of Lara Ejzak
Lara Ejzak, Editor-in-Chief
Oh hey! My name is Lara Ejzak, and I am a super (cool) senior here at Knoch. I am involved in tennis, German club, history club, and Youth and Government.  I am still making atrocious puns and baked goods that just don't quit! I write articles about school and whatnot, but my specialty is any article that allows me to spew my opinion everywhere because I am always right.  I'm a sucker for a good mango or raspberry, and I am still out on a hunt to find the best apples, so hit me up if you know of any.

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  • J

    Jessica McCalipDec 12, 2022 at 09:43

    I am still mad about this. #willneverforgetaboutit #willholditoveryouforever……..good cake though 🙂

    • L

      Lara EjzakDec 12, 2022 at 09:44