The Correct Take

We Have to Stop Big Milk at All Costs.

January 12, 2023

Cinnamon Toast Crunch, said by many to be the best cereal.  If you have any gripes with that statement, I recommend you read my fellow journalist Kristen Gallagher’s paper (she stole her idea from me, I wrote this first, if she says otherwise she’s lying).  The real debate here is whether this captivatingly cinnamony cereal is better enjoyed dry or with milk.

There are some that think the presence of milk is vital and even enhances the exp-CEREAL-ence (I was really reaching for that one).  I think this rationalization is just one of many examples of how the Man and Big Milk has a chokehold on America with their propaganda.  I, unlike many of my peers, enjoy a bowl of cereal almost everyday before school, so I think that I am more than qualified to be judge of this debate.  It is my personal opinion that if you can’t enjoy a cereal dry, it shouldn’t be considered a good cereal; hence why I do not indulge in the small, gravely abomination that is Grape-nuts.  But we aren’t talking about any old cereal here, we are talking about the king of healthy, balanced, whole-grained breakfasts:  Cinnamon Toast Crunch a.k.a. CTC.

A prime example of the Big Milk influenced is displayed by weak minded junior Gretchen Foehringer’s response to my questioning if the cereal is better with or without milk, where she says:

“I guess with milk.  I mean it is cereal.”

Hmm, not a very strong point there Gretchen, sounds like the response of someone who has been brainwashed to like milk in their cereal just because the “media” tells her to. And don’t get me wrong, I think that milk it is fine with this cereal, I mean it’s CTC, it won’t be BAD.  But the problem with adding milk the the equation here is that all that cinnamon sugar goodness gets washed away, and then what?  You have plain cereal with slightly flavored milk?  Not to mention the fact that milk ALSO eliminates the crunch part of Cinnamon Toast CRUNCH!  That’s two thirds of the whole thing!  Milk takes CTC from being a straight A student to a failing high school dropout, and I personally will not stand for it.  You aren’t getting an optimal experience when you add milk to the equation.

A much better answer was provided by junior Sam Robb who said, “It’s good with milk, but I eat that —- UP without”.  Now this is the kind of enthusiasm that we are looking for here!  We have the acknowledgement of the presence of milk lifestyle, but then the obvious observation that without milk, this cereal is on a whole other LEVEL.

Again, I have nothing against eating this delicacy with milk, but if you haven’t munched an entire box of this at 1 in the morning just straight out of the box, you are severely missing out and lacking in your CTC experience.

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About the Contributor
Photo of Lara Ejzak
Lara Ejzak, Editor-in-Chief
Oh hey! My name is Lara Ejzak, and I am a super (cool) senior here at Knoch. I am involved in tennis, German club, history club, and Youth and Government.  I am still making atrocious puns and baked goods that just don't quit! I write articles about school and whatnot, but my specialty is any article that allows me to spew my opinion everywhere because I am always right.  I'm a sucker for a good mango or raspberry, and I am still out on a hunt to find the best apples, so hit me up if you know of any.

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