Pull up your Mask
December 2, 2020
Was your skin care doing great……
Do you have really bad seasonal allergies……..
Does your mask rub against your face and you are not sure if it’s Eczema or irritation………
Did you think you broke your nose but did not go to the ER because it was the middle of Corona time……
These are all problems faced by people, and by people I mean me during this time. Hate them or love them ……
It’s a government mandate, so we have to wear masks when we are within a distance of six feet or less. Now this does not count when we are home or at our best friends party, and no one is wearing a mask. But, that is not the point.
After months of wearing a mask and observing others, I have broken mask wearers down to several types and here they are:
What do Air Force ones, American Eagle sweatpants and scrunchies all have in common with the regular blue masks? They are basic. No, I’m not here to judge. Most of the time that’s what I end up wearing. But there is something nice about the throw awayable masks that you wear for two weeks anyway. Most of the time these wearers are the ones that do the bare minimum. They are the people that also may have got them for free at school or from their parents’ work.
Basic variations masks
Now these people are the cool kids. I’m talking about the basic blue mask but with different colors. There’s yellow, there’s pink, and there is even a random purple one. These are the people that are like light years ahead and up to date with fashion trends. Like, oh this is a new brand that everyone loves, and I’ve been buying this stuff since 2010. Should we be scared of them, or should we not? I’m not sure. All I know is if I were to get into a fight with one of them, I would be 6 feet under.
These people are a different breed. You know who I’m talking about: those freshmen with the gators that they wear so it won’t hurt their ears. Yet, they have it over their ears and under their nose. Very effective.. now as most of you can tell it is mainly the freshmen that do this. I would also say that they are sporty in a sense that they’ll talk about what sport they play every 10 minutes. They are like “Yo, I play a sport”. All I can say is good for you. But all jokes aside, these freshmen scare me. I’m not sure whether it’s the Corona or it’s like, have you washed your hands?
So there’s not as many of these people as I thought that there was going to be. I’m kind of disappointed by that. But, you know, it is like that sometimes. These people I would best describe as “Oh I forgot we have to have a mask, so I’ll just wear the one that I have to wear for “insert sport” . I would describe them as middle of the pack students. They aren’t going to Harvard but they aren’t going to flunk out of high school. I would say most of the people that wear the sports mass actually play the sport and are not on the bench the whole entire time. I mean all in all, it’s kind of basic, you know, I mean not as basic as the blue mask, but like basic in the sense of I expected better you know.
Pretty patterns masks
Now we have one of my favorite types of mask to look at. The pattern ones… Do you have the floral ones or the strawberry ones or how about, I don’t know, dinosaur ones?You never know what you’re going to get. Now, these people don’t think I would say they’re extra, but they’re extra. Like, they are the people that when they learned that we had to go back to school with masks said, “Hey mom, I need to not get a new jacket for school. At Target I need to get 15 masks that match every single outfit I own.” I’m not sure what type of mask scares me the most, but I would have to say these people are in my top three. Like, I wish I would buy these masks and wear them, but I know if I were to ever buy it it would be a waste of money. I would just go back to the generic blue one because I am not gonna wash these masks. I know that’s like unsanitary and I’ll probably get pneumonia but what’s worse, Covid or pneumonia? You know I want to know like if anyone knows let me know. But going back to the topic . I think that these masks are like my favorite group of masks to see out and about, like that little toddler with their like bird masks. It brings a smile to my face because like if I was a little child during the mask situation, I would probably have liked birds on my mask too. Yeah and probably stains. But that’s not the point; I think that this group of people are cool.
Now the plane cloth masks people….. I’m talking about one solid color besides black. We are going into a detailed description about it, but I’m talking if you just wear gray or tan.You’re boring. I don’t make the rules, but you know that is the most boring mask. At least with the basic medical ones, it’s kinda jazz it up with the lines, but like the plain ones, like, I don’t know, like where is the flavor? You just remind me of some middle-age person that’s just like regretting all life choices. Well, you might be regretting all life choices but you aren’t in that pivotal midlife crisis situation. You’re in a teenage crisis situation maybe but not midlife. Oh, I don’t know what to say. maybe try something outside of your comfort zone? I feel like you’ve been wearing the same exact clothing, same exact brand, same exact stuff from when your mom used to dress you. So you probably just revert back to that and just wear the same thing. I feel like I’ve seen you in that same red sweatshirt this whole week. Or I feel like you only own striped tops. Like yeah, they’re different colors but like is that the only thing you own.
Now compared to the plain mask people, the people with the black ones are a different breed. I feel like there are the people that have to take energy shots before class. Are they sleeping? Are they dozing off in class? Chances are they have a black mask on. I don’t make the rules, but I see you half-asleep in biology. These people like the basic blue mask and don’t give a pile of dog waste. They are just here because the state requires it. If it didn’t, they would be at home sleeping in their bed. I feel like these people are mediocre in school,but if they would try harder and study, they would do so much better than what they are. I say that and then I see them chugging a Monster before their morning classes. And I think to myself, do they have any brain cells left after the caffeine intake and sugar content of having one of those every day of high school since freshman year? Also, do they sleep? I’m convinced that these people are nocturnal. They don’t sleep at night but as soon as it’s light outside they want to go to bed. Do they scare me? No, but would they scare me if they actually had a full night of sleep? The world may never know.