Hello again. How are you doing? Good? Well, isn’t that good for you. 

Unfortunately, I’m not here to feel good. I’m here to uncork weeks worth of ranting to all of you because THIS IS MY BLOG! Anyway, let me tell you a little something that grinds my gears. . .  what bamboozles my booty, one might say. I’ll tell you what! My mental instability. Do you lack motivation to do something important and then when you don’t do it, you feel super guilty and get stuck in a Doctor Strange style time loop of guilt and no progress? Just me? Well, that’s unfortunate. 

I was at a violin lesson yesterday and quite literally had a breakdown in front of my teacher, telling her I would never play violin again because I couldn’t get the last page of Mozart done. In hindsight, I was being ridiculous. I absolutely cannot wait ‘till I have to go to my next lesson and be like, “Oh, Hi Ms. Simeone! Oh yeah I’m doing good… You know how last week I said I was never going to touch a violin again? Yeah. WELL HERE I AM!”

Another thing that grinds my gears, apart from my deteriorating mental health, is having a job. We all need to earn money eventually. We have to do this seemingly inhumane thing known as “growing up” and “being a contributing member of society.” It’s disgusting. I have the blessing of slaving away at an unnamed nursing home. I get to wash multiple kitchens worth of dishes in three hours while serving and cleaning up after a bunch of old people that think I’m STEALING from them when I take their trash from their table. I don’t get paid enough to dodge Mrs. Doubtfire’s triple twist combo move when she sees me take her 18 napkins from her table after she finishes her ice cream cup.

After the first three hours of my shift, the rest of the starved youngins join me in my endeavors to fight against pans of unsalted peas with nothing but a broken dishwasher and two pieces of steel wool. Once we get that done, I, along with one coworker, set trays up with silverware while residents watch Hallmark Christmas movies across the counter. But life isn’t always so perfect and there are other things in this amazing world that deserve a spot in this edition of What Grinds My Gears.

I have some things to say about siblings. HOLD ON! I just took a sip of the school’s newest Super Blue drink. And we have to cover this new drink because it tastes like it should be illegal to sell to children. I am usually in a happy mood while I write the issues of What Grinds My Gears. However, after a sip of this interesting drink, I am now a dehydrated crying mess of a man. This drink looks like Windex and tastes like the syrup from a concentrated melted slushie.

After that brief interruption, let us get back to the issue plaguing the world: Siblings. If you are an only child, feel free to ignore this next section. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been uninvited from a birthday party you share with your twin brother. When I was younger, maybe 12, My twin brother Cole told me I WAS NO LONGER WELCOME at OUR birthday party. I was forced to have a separate party upstairs with my friends while he took the downstairs with his. WHAT!?

You know one last thing that Grinds My Gears, what Sands my Bernie, or watches my mojo? It’s when people don’t write a conclusion section for their What Grinds My Gears article.