FART (left): What was supposed to be a replica of a famous artwork, Mask of Fear by Paul Klee, on a 3D clay slab turned out to be a poorly painted blob of trash. Although it’s surely a fearful sight, it’s also incredibly inaccurate and bad. The little face lacks a little arrow at the top of his head which is vital for ventilation. His legs are awkward L’s and the paint job is astronomically poor. However, what more could we expect from senior Jordan Crites. I think it’s a pretty accurate representation of Jordan’s inner self, which is what art is supposed to be after all! 80% FART 20% ART.

ART (right): A perfect little sheepsie wheepsie by Jessica the Worst. A double pinch pot WITH unique, individual coils around the outside to resemble the fluff of a true sheep. I find it to be strikingly realistic. I can almost hear a distant “Bahhhh” from somewhere deep in my subconscious. Can you? Bahhhhh. Sheep say, “Bahhhh.” Do you say “Bahhh?” Jessica the Worst herself says, quote for quote, “Baahhh.” She’s a somewhat slobbery sheep. The sheep she created, however, is a perfectly clean and sophisticated sheep. No slobber in sight. I’m excited, impressed, and enthralled by this sheep. What a sheep. I’m a little sad that I can’t tell how it’s feeling, its expressions are very hard to read as it appears he may even completely lack an eyes or mouth or nose. I worry about him. For such a beautiful sheep, his “Baahh””s are quite melancholic. 87% ART 13% FART.

Due to lack of Farts (and Arts), this is all I have for you today. Please send me Farts.