Valentine’s Day! A day with a hypothetically positive connotation that often leads to misery for many. Those lucky enough to have a significant other get to fill their day with gushy love letters and over priced roses, while the rest of the world who live their romantic fantasies out through crappy movies are left to do what? What do the Valentineless do on a day that celebrates something they don’t have? 

For senior Reese Scott, he had it all planned out: sit and cry in his room about how all men do is disappoint. Rating himself a big ole’ 9.5/10 on the single scale, ten being as single as it gets, Scott just wishes that a man would grow up enough to handle his, “high maintenance behind.” A post-Valentine’s day checkup showed that Scott’s predictions came far too true, as he said he “ate food I hoped would give me a heart attack but didn’t” and then went to bed early to make the day end sooner. Although I can’t say I recommend Scott’s tactic, everyone has different methods to their madness, and I applaud him for finding what works for him!

Following a route similar to Scott’s, junior Abby Hawk ended her day early with an early bedtime. In order to keep her mind preoccupied and off the fact that she won’t be coming home to a massive bouquet of flowers and a chocolate sculpture of her face as she says she is “In no danger of becoming a Valentine,” Hawk worked her behind off at basketball practice and then dove into her studies as soon as she got home. Once there was no more studious information to intake and keep her thoughts on, she hit the hay at a ripe 9:30 to avoid lengthening the already tediously long day. Hawk took it as just another day, but couldn’t help but to add that maybe other couple’s should be more considerate of HER feelings when THEY’RE happy on Valentine’s day, as it is profoundly rude. 

Junior Reed Curry is lucky enough to have a lighter mindset about it. Although still rating his chronic single-ness a whopping 8/10, Curry knows he’s a catch and is just letting the ladies come to him. For Valentine’s day, he spent his time at his workplace of the Target. Many couple’s drifted in and out, incorporating a romantic target run into their day of glee. Rather than wanting to be a grinch, Curry had planned to be supportive of the couples, saying he would even wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day! However, when it came time to show his support, he said rather than feeling happy for those with their partners, he couldn’t help but to glare, and wish he could break their happily holding hands apart. 

Senior Hanna Howell had her priorities set for February 14th: “Go to the gym and get super hot.” Sure enough, to the gym she went and super hot she is! To feel the spirit a little, she and her friend, Senior Carole Larvae, made heart shaped pizzas, but quickly devoured them as to eliminate any more love from being in the air. The other happy couples Howell did see on valentine’s day made her feel angry, feeling as though “they don’t deserve it,” due to her lack of the opportunity to be the happy one in a couple.

 “Maybe if the men would just realize I’m funny and awesome and could buy them awesome cool gifts, it would be different,” said Howell. “But so be it.”

For freshman Elijah Adley, he doesn’t worry too much about his single state. He enjoys fawning over the ladies, and of course the way they all fawn over him. As he knew he didn’t have his eyes set on anyone, he had big plans to eat a fried pickle on Valentines day. He ended up overachieving, as he “Went to my grandma’s and ate a fried pickle and also a busting burger.” I truly hope the fried pickle fills the spot in his heart where a woman is missing! I can’t see how it wouldn’t.

More than just a man who eats fried pickles, Adley has a bit of a soft spot for his momma along with fried pickles. On valentine’s day, on top of eating a fried pickle, he got his mom some pretty flowers.

“She’s the most important lady in my life,” said Adley. “I also really like fried pickles.”

Everyone has their own way of dealing with loneliness, perhaps some healthier than others. For myself, I kept busy at work, seating happy couples at candlelit dinners to enjoy their happy little meals. I was hardly sour though, as I got to spend my time at work with my dear friend Kelsea Relihan, and she made the day just about bearable. A galentine’s day is sometimes much better than any Valentine’s day could ever be. 

Dear couples, please be sure that you sincerely and profusely apologize to any single souls you see on Valentine’s Day in the future, and be sure to repeatedly reassure them that they won’t be alone forever. Don’t forget what Valentine’s Day should really be all about; spreading misery!