Trick or treat!  I thought it only right to do the seasonal thing and rank some of the most popular Halloween candy so that all of you know what to take handfuls of and what to throw back at whatever overly friendly suburban parent gives you a Twizzler.  I did this ranking with a couple of Newspaper constituents, so in my explanations I will speak how I might have differed from the final ranking, but I believe in compromise so this final ranking is a pretty good layout of the most agreed upon hierarchy of candy.

I expect to ruffle a few feathers with this one, but I can handle the heat.  I didn’t call it an inferno for nothing after all.  The categories from best to worst with a bit of a rundown are as follows:

Giant Eagle Fuelperks– Because nothing feels as good as getting basically a free carful of gas after racking up all those points!  This category was taken very seriously.  They are all candies that have stood the test of time, the one’s you seek out and that once you find them, you rob anyone else of the possibility of getting any.  I know earlier I said I believe in compromise, but Raisinets being at the top is a hill I will die on.

Florence Pugh (for obvious reasons)- If your favorite didn’t make it to Fuelperks and landed here instead, that is no small feat.  I feel that I do not have to justify any of these, they are objectively extremely good candies.  My only complaint is seeing Butterfinger in this category, since I would personally put it at number one, but I was willing to concede on this one.

juice– No, I will not explain.

this is fine (dog meme)– You might be able to trade a couple of these to some Mike and Ike enthusiast, but these are mainly the less desirable sweets that you still find in your pantry months after trick-or-treating.

D is for Dad– There’s always candy that you end up giving to your dad, and this category is exactly what that is for.  If you are a paternal person, this category could be your number one!  Who knows how your minds work.

I’d rather sandpaper my tongue– A bit of an extreme category, but I feel extremely bad about these candies.  I will visibly grimace if I see that I received any of these.

grocery shopping– Not necessarily bad, but just not what you want for Halloween.  I like apples and gum, and I certainly believe in brushing my teeth, but not on Halloween.