In this series, I share my [correct] opinions and you get to decide if I deserve your validation or not.

I’ve never really known what I wanted in life. As a child, I would say, “Maybe someday I’ll be an artist” and “Maybe I won’t go to college”. But that was the extent of my interests regarding my future. I don’t know who put those ideas in my head, because I can barely draw a stick figure and I do want to attend college. So I’m pretty sure those were never options on my table. 

Fast forward about 10 years, and now I’m a senior in high school staring at a stack of college mail. Looking back, I think that as unrealistic as 7-year-old me was, at least she had an idea. At least she could say, “Maybe someday,” and then shrug it off and go on with the next few years of her life without worry. Now I’m 17 years old; I can’t shrug it off anymore. I’m supposed to leave for college in less than a year. I’m supposed to KNOW where I want to go, have applied by now, and at least have a slight idea of a major to pursue. But guess what? I have no clue what to do about any of it.

But how am I supposed to know?? The amount of times people have asked me, “What are your plans for next year,” in the past week alone is more than I can count on my fingers. What kind of question even is that?? Every time I’m asked, I become closer and closer to the edge of a cliff. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT MY PLANS FOR TOMORROW ARE. How can I just figure out where I want to spend the next FOUR years of my life… studying the career path that will BE the REST of my life? 

And even when I do figure that out, what major? When I ask people this, they always say, “Well what are your interests?” ONCE AGAIN, I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T HAVE ANY. I don’t know what I like or what I’m good at. What could I spend every day of my future doing without hating it? Answer that. You can’t. I mean I don’t even know my favorite food or my favorite song. And you mean to tell me that I have to make these decisions right now that will shape the entire rest of my life?! I don’t think so. Even thinking about interviewing for a job and then having to do that job and not mess everything up and avoid being fired and being an adult with adult responsibilities and living my life and having a future makes me want to throw up. This is perfectly normal though, right?

So, I have come to the conclusion that my future simply does not exist. Everybody else seems to know what they might want except for me, so therefore my future is not real. If you do have any idea at all of what your future may consist of, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re fake. You are not human. You’re a bot. It’s all too impossible. So for me, it’s just not going to happen. And I don’t think I’m completely crazy for thinking this. So let me ask you this:

Am I valid🔥💯 for having this opinion?