In this series, I share my [correct] opinions and you get to decide if I deserve your validation or not.

Before I say anything, I want to make one thing clear; I am not a picky eater. But as you see below, there is a very specific list of foods that [if I can] I will avoid at all costs. I know it may look a bit lengthy, but trust me, each item is there because it needs to be. If you disagree, you’re wrong. 

1. Dates – Alright, starting off strong with this one. If you can eat these things, I’m impressed. The texture is so incredibly foul that even thinking about it makes me sick. Biting into a date is exactly how I imagine biting into a cockroach would be like. 
2. Soggy Cereal (specifically Rice Krispies) – This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Soggy cereal is rancid (and I think any normal person would agree), so I often eat my cereal dry. 
3. Coleslaw/Sauerkraut – I combined these into one category because they’re both like…cabbage…right?? And because they both make me literally physically gag. I cry a little every New Years day when my mom makes pork & sauerkraut for “good luck”; if that’s what I have to eat to have good luck, then I’ll just risk it all and take the bad luck.
4. Calamari/Caviar/Salmon/Tuna – Nah this shouldn’t even need an explanation. I’ve only ever eaten calamari, and I’m pretty sure I was chewing it for about 15 minutes before I finally decided to just swallow it whole. It’s more of a jaw workout than an edible food. As for the rest, just take one look at them and tell me they’re not the most unappetizing things ever. Like, fish eggs? Hello? Who is choosing to eat this stuff?
5. BEANS – A bean is basically my worst nightmare; a clump of mush…enclosed in a shell…in my mouth. Oh my gosh. I might throw up. Lima beans are absolutely the worst food to have ever touched my taste buds, and not far behind them are refried beans, baked beans, kidney beans, pinto beans, white beans, garbanzo beans, regular peas, snap peas, and literally any other type of bean. The ONLY exception I will make is green beans, but I don’t even count those as real beans. So really, all beans.
6. Mustard/Mayonnaise/Relish/Soy Sauce/Wasabi – If you are gathering ingredients to make yourself a sandwich, and CHOOSE to pick up the mustard, mayo, or relish, just know that I do not trust you at all, nor do I have any respect for you. I would rather starve than put mustard into my mouth. Soy sauce is like consuming sewer water. And if I’m going to eat wasabi, I might as well just burn my tongue with a curling iron. 
7. Bologna – Just gross. I used to eat bologna all the time as a kid, and now I can’t even look at it. I think what throws me off is the alarming resemblance that this meat has to skin. Ew.
8. Cooked Carrots/Tomatoes/Olives – At this point you’re probably thinking I’m five years old; I know and I don’t care. (1) Carrots are perfectly fine how they are…why are we cooking them?? (2) I think tomatoes are a pretty commonly hated food. The only redeeming things about them are ketchup and pizza sauce. (3) I remember when my sister used to put olives on each of her fingers and then devour them like it was her job. And can you guess what I wanted to do? BARF. Those things are absolutely putrid. 

So, reflecting back on my list, I’m thinking it’s lookin’ pretty valid. I don’t see how anyone on earth could possibly eat any of these foods and not want to shudder and gag and throw up and power wash their tongue and die. Because that’s how these foods make me feel. So let me know…

Am I valid for having this opinion?