Crumbling bricks, dust-covered hallways, and real knight armor on display: from this description, you would probably assume I’m describing a castle, but that’s just Knoch High School.
“I think it’s super cool that so many generations of students have attended school at a historical site, whether they know it or not,” said art teacher Mr. Kamer.
Have you ever wondered why our school is in worse condition than a monument from 1000 A.D.? Boy, do I have some news for you. The deterioration is a result of years of use as a castle from medieval times. While researching the original construction of our school, I came across a bizarre discrepancy between the date we’ve been told that the school was constructed, and the true story. I talked to principal Mr. Trofimuk in an attempt to get the real story.
“Unfortunately, I have no comment,” said Mr. Trofimuk.
Which I thought was strange considering that he always has something to say. I dove deeper into this shocking theory while speaking to Mr. Kamer.
“The school was a castle for the Knights of Saxonburg, where we get our mascot. The castle was home to the mayor of Saxonburg and housed what is now the Saxonburg police, which was formerly the mayor’s personal chivalric order, basically a group of knights,” Mr. Kamer said.
This news is unsurprising to most Knoch students, who are not shocked by the ancient origins of our school building.
Junior Lily Crowley said, “This doesn’t honestly surprise me, considering the state of our school. I am shocked they are doing construction on a historical site, but not much that our school does makes sense.”
As it turns out, our school was the battleground for a historical battle between the Knights of Saxonburg and the Yellowjackets of Sarver.
“The mythological lore behind our school is quite fascinating. It doesn’t surprise me that they’ve kept it a secret, considering the further rivalry it would cause between our school and Freeport,” said Mr. Kamer.
Mr. Kamer was an asset on the battlefield.
“Kamer was able to single-handedly take down the giant Yellowjacket mascot, which really upped the morale and turned the tide of the battle,” said Mr. Pflugh.
While our school might’ve suited the needs of past Saxonburg constituents, it does not pass for most modern-day students.
“To be honest, I don’t know who would want this as their castle. I mean, the original architectural plans are so horrendous. I feel like Stonehenge was constructed with more of a plan than this school,” said junior Grace Mayhugh.
Like me, you are probably wondering how the school has kept this quiet for so long, especially with two teachers, both Mr. Kamer and Mr. Pflugh, being a large part of the battle.
“The administration has kept it quiet by threatening us in our contracts,” said Mr. Pflugh. “If we give any information away about the true nature of the construction, we will be locked in the secret dungeon beneath the school.”
Don’t get on Mr. Reiser’s bad side, or he might just send you to this mysterious dungeon. “Well, actually, it was turned into the girls’ locker room downstairs. They figured they might as well put the space to use,” said Mr. Pflugh.
Okay, then maybe he’ll just send you to the girls’ locker room instead, considering that it still looks like a dungeon down there.
“So they decided to update the boys’ locker room from a dungeon, but kept the girls’ that way? Sounds about right!” said Mayhugh.
Whether you were one of the people who knew about the true origins of the school or this is your first time hearing of it, it is no surprise to find out that our school is even older than we thought!
“Whether it’s a historical site or not, I still don’t want to go here,” said junior Noah Hahn.
