Attention all animal lovers at Knoch!! Have you ever had your schedule absolutely obliterated and switcherooed from what you had planned?
Have you ever had a significant other rip your heart out and destroy your esteem?
Have you ever had an ex post “your song” nonchalantly even though they knew you could never listen to it again and you had happily moved on?
If so, you’ve probably spent time in our lovely guidance office.Whether or not you’ve taken a trip down there you’ll be happy to know that there is a new expansion arriving to Knoch for the struggling students.
Sophomore Hailey Tomsik is a frequent visitor of the guidance office.
“I love to visit some of my favorite staff during study halls when I don’t have work to do. Chatting with Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Smith always makes my day.” said Tomsik, “Sometimes though, a good chat with them doesn’t always calm me down. Human interaction can only do so much, you know?”
On April 31st, the guidance office is announcing the grand opening of Knoch High School’s Domestic Animal Emotional and Psychological Therapy Program for Students (KHSDAEPTPS). If you haven’t yet wandered throughout the new office, let me fill you in.
Installed in the guidance office is the new pet enclosure. To find it, look for a door labeled, “Pet Room.”
Yes! You heard that right! Here at Knoch we will have a room for any and all your pet wishes to appease your unkempt emotion.
The KHSDAEPTPS office is complete with an elaborate kitty cat jungle gym, an in-wall fish tank outlining the perimeter of the room, and a hamster cage*. This room is certain to aid in all your emotional needs.
Senior Josie Johnson is very excited in particular. “Being an animal lover, I think this will be a perfect addition that will benefit many students here at Knoch. I’ve already discussed this with the President of Domesticity here at Knoch. He stated that I am more than welcome to bring in my own pets with me for my emotional needs.”
Said President is wildlife educator and American youtuber Coyote Peterson. Peterson is well known for his energetic and interactive videos on Youtube. With over 21 million subscribers, he is well acquainted with animals and how to safely interact with them.
Vice President Jackson Galaxy will also be present in the pet room at all times to take care of the animals as well as the humans. Galaxy is host and executive producer of My Cat from Hell. He has a very precise intuition with animals and was the first person to come to mind during the school board’s decision of who to nominate for the position.
Both Peterson and Galaxy responded with much enthusiasm.
“We believe expanding schools domestically is a fantastic idea and hope that other schools will follow suit.” Peterson explains. “Maybe in the future we could even go as far as expanding the curriculum in this way as well. The future for Knoch is looking bright!”
I think it is a safe bet to say that KHSDAEPTPS is going to hit Knoch in waves and bring a positive change to this school. Look out Knoch!
*Hamsters to be imported from Peru
