The year is nearly over, and seniors are all busy stressin’ over one thing: college. Many of those boys and girls (myself included) are scared of that little thing. Where are we gonna go? What are we gonna major in? Will I have to survive solely on ramen noodles and illicit drugs? If you’re thinking any of these thoughts, then stop. Because what I have here is an easy peezy yeezy guide on everything to do with college. Peep this out!

Step #1: Figure out where you want to go.

This is wicked easy, really. Just pull up a picture of the U.S. map, print it out, hang it on the wall, and then throw a dart at it. Whatever state it lands on is where you’ll apply for college. From there, just pick whatever name sounds the best. If by chance your dart lands in the ocean, then you might as well just go to clown college, cuz that’s what you actin’ like.

Step #2: Pack your belongings.

Now that you know where you’re going, it’s time to pack all the essential college goods. Food, money, water, clothes (unless you’re headed to a nudist college,) your favorite pet, all of the seasons of Frasier, a deck of cards, and a stick of deodorant.

Step 3#: Hit the road (not literally)

Now that you have a destination and your belongings, it’s time to head out. Any form of transportation should suffice just fine, as long as it’s fast enough. Tryna go all the way to California in a hot air balloon ain’t no way to be, son. You feel me? If yes, then stop that. Don’t touch me there.

Step #4: Make yourself at home

Once you’ve arrived at your campus, just go ahead and get comfortable. After all, you are going to be staying in or around that area for the next 2 years at least. I recommend marking your territory, so that wild dogs won’t attack you during the night.

Step #4.5: Assert your dominance

Furthering on the previous step, you MUST prove yourself in order to gain any respect from your peers. Some examples of showing your dominance can include: Striking a power pose, talking over everyone in every conversation, and constantly hydrating yourself.

Step #5: Enjoy yourself

The only possible way to stay sane during your college years is to have fun. That doesn’t mean that you should ignore your responsibilities, but cut loose just a little bit. Kick off your Sunday shoes just a little bit. As a great man, Glenn Frey of The Eagles, once said: “Take it easy, take it easy. Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.” Honestly, I think truer words have never been spoken.