If you park in one of the 300 spots available in the student parking lot (minus the first row that’s taken by teachers) or have ever ventured over to across the street like a chicken trying to get to the other side, you know about the state it’s in. Pennsylvania, of course! (Knee slapper!) Anyways, from potholes and faded paint covering the ground (or a pack of raw hotdogs, if you were there in 2021), to less than ideal parking and litter filtering through, the student parking lot is truly a lawless land. So, upon request from my fellow newspaper writers and my own desire to complain, I’ll be highlighting some of the lots’ best features.
Sharing Is Not Caring
When I was first brainstorming different topics to discuss in this article, I didn’t think that this would be one of them. But February 23rd, 2024’s morning parking experience proved me wrong. As I turned the corner to go into the row that my spot is in, I see the same familiar car that’s always parked on my left before I get there. However, the spot to its right, that spot being mine of course, was taken, and not by me. I had never seen this car before, especially parked anywhere near me. I know the numbers labeling each spot are fading, but they’re still definitely there. And if nobody else were parked around them, I understand maybe missing the mark a bit, but when the car parked next to you is NOT the one that’s usually there, I’d advise taking an extra look at the number. I personally check that I’m in the right spot every day, but to each their own. I ended up going down a few spots to the corner where nobody parked, left a little note telling them they were in the wrong spot on their windshield and informed the office so I wouldn’t get a ticket for being in the wrong spot.
I understand that this seemed like just a simple mistake, and most of the time, I’m sure it is. I thought it was a funny accident and moved on with my day after joking around about it with my friends. However, I found out that said person who borrowed my spot for the day does not own a parking spot at all! I’m not sure what they thought was going to happen when they took up a spot that somebody else’s car is supposed to go in, but I guess we’ll find out later.
Jesus Take the Wheel
As most of us know, the humble little town of Saxonburg is filled with lovers of God! While going to church or putting a Bible verse in your Instagram bio is completely chill with me, Jesus cannot assist you in driving. A popular verse amongst the teens is Philippians 4:13, which states “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” but that does not apply to you blindly flying into reverse! God might save, but he cannot pay your car insurance.
Junior Wyatt Foster is on a bit of the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to this topic, but his passion is similar to mine.
“I hate when other people fly through the isles to leave AS IF OTHER PEOPLE AREN’T TRYING TO BACK OUT OF THEIR SPOTS.”
Some of you guys have me praying as I drive, and I’m not even that religious. (And no, I’m not saying specifically that people who like God can’t drive.) From people driving on the wrong side of the road to quickly backing out of their spots as I pass, I’ve seen just about everything.
Junior Sarah Conley is fed up with the same Kia Soul cutting her off every day.
“You know who you are.”
I’m not saying I’m an absolutely perfect driver, but a little more caution and a little less entitlement wouldn’t hurt.
Your Driving isn’t the Only Trash in the Parking Lot
In the 21st century, seeing litter is unfortunately nothing out of the ordinary and our parking lot proves this absolutely true. I’m pretty sure part of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is actually in the little grass and creek area next to the lot. I’d imagine seeing litter bothers the average person and especially bothers me, which you’d know if you read my last article, so once the weather gets warm enough to be able to go outside without getting wind burn, I vow to go clean it all up. I’m a little concerned about what I’m going to look like to parking lot passerbyers as I locomote through the mud and bushes with a trash bag, but I guess it’s for the good of the cause.
The Personification of Hitting a Couple Bumps on the Road.
As we all know, Pennsylvania is known for its great roads! Obviously we’re all used to construction that goes on for years and stop lights that take eons to change, but the student parking lot really puts a new twist on driving experiences. Just getting across a couple hundred feet from the entrance to my spot feels like I’m offroading in a golf cart with three wheels across sand dunes in the Sahara Desert. Every day when I leave, I hit a pothole that I couldn’t avoid even if I had a ramp to jump my 2008 Ford Escape over because it stretches a greater distance than the Rio Grande! And speaking of bodies of water, when the sinkhole in the curve of the entrance fills up after it rains, get out your swimsuits and beach towels because there’s enough liquid in that dent to have a full pool day. Nothing wakes you up in the morning like accidentally hitting that pothole and getting the log jammer splash treatment on the front of your car.
One Way?
Like the wrong-spot dilemma I told you all about in the first paragraph, I didn’t think I would be writing about this situation either. But, one who shall not be named once again proved me wrong. What kind of person drives off the main road into the middle of the single-lane exit at the end of the school day when everyone is leaving (aka going the opposite direction as you)? Well, I could tell you what person did this because they made eye contact with me as they almost caused a head-on collision, while also speeding and wearing headphones! I’m confident that nobody would be surprised if I did say this person’s name, but 1; I don’t think I’m allowed to do that and 2; even if I were, I’m not down with getting into that scandal. It’s not even necessarily the fact that the entrances are single-lane that bothers me, but the fact that some people try to make them two.
If you managed to get through my roughly 1000 word rant, I hope that like in my bathroom etiquette article, you either agreed with my statements or learned to change. We’re all just a bunch of teenagers who have been driving for a maximum of three years, and mistakes and confusion are bound to happen, but I think we can agree that a little more awareness when it comes to parking lot driving could benefit us all.
