Horoscopes

Bryn Krason, staff writer

 

 

VIRGO, The Virgin

August 23rd– September 22nd

You may think that kidnaping that duck at the park is a smart idea. Yes, you can take one, but think of the duck poop that may be in your pillow. 

 

LIBRA, The Scales

September 23rd -October 22nd

We all know that you stole that thing. Return it before people get angry. And come on, you can buy it at the Dollar Store.

 

 SCORPIO, The Scorpion

October 23rd –November 21st

 You really shouldn’t post that photo.

 

SAGITTARIUS, The Archer

November 22nd –December 21st

 I know you forgot your password. Don’t worry you will figure it out.

CAPRICORN, The Goat

December 22nd– January 19th

 I know you want a new outfit for school. I would save up your money for the future. Or just buy one part of the outfit.

AQUARIUS, The Water Bearer

January 20th –February 18th

 I know you are waiting until the last day to do your homework. Don’t do it. It will end badly and you will cry at one because you have Physics still.

PISCES, The Fishes

February 19th –March 20th 

I know you have a lot going on in your life right now, but you have to make time for yourself. You are stressing out over everything. Take a nap and eat that ice cream.

ARIES, The Ram

March 21st-April 19th

I would start to calm down. I feel the aggression radiating from you. Try eating a popsicle, maybe a banana or watermelon one.

 

TAURUS, The Bull

April 20th-May 20th

I know you want to finish that show you are on, but watching three more episodes at four am is not the smartest. You have a math test in four hours. Sleep!

 

GEMINI, The Twins

May 21st-June 20th

Are you talking to a person in your computer class? Do you think there is a spark? Ask them to do something outside of school and see if there truly is a spark.

 

CANCER, The Crab

June 21st-July 22nd

 Hey, I know it’s been a long time since you were in school last but you need to do your work! Online school is hard but we are all in this together.

 

LEO, The Lion

July 23rd-August 22nd

 I know you are hungry but don’t forget to put water in your mac and cheese bowl before you microwave. It may no will end badly if you don’t.