I Meat My Match At Margaritaville *Gone Wrong*


Alyssa Gallagher, Sports Editor

Who doesn’t love a good burger?  Probably not vegans if we’re being honest, so it’s a good thing I’m not one.  Burgers are one of my favorite meals, and a good one certainly makes me happy.  In my days I’ve eaten a lot of burgers.  Here are the best, in my opinion.  Do not slander my choices.


Burgers I’ve eaten

  1. Eat’n Park– Eat’n Park is, and will remain, number one until I can find better.  Who would expect a good burger from Eat’n Park?  I didn’t.  My expectations for burgers were immediately heightened.  This is the best burger of my life.  Put some lettuce, cheese, and ranch on that baby and boom.  Perfection.  The only downside to this is that I can’t have it every day or else I’d get sick of it and I’d be broke.  The fries are the perfect side.  They’re thick, crunchy on the outside, and soft on the inside.  This is the only way fries should be made, in my humble opinion.  If you’re not dipping those fries in the ranch, then what are you doing?  The ranch at Eat’n Park is the staple of this meal; however, you could probably eat your burger and fries without it if you’re boring.  Either way, this is a burger you have to try in your lifetime.  Overall, I rate it a 10/10.


  1. Burgatory– Now I know what you’re thinking; Alyssa, how could Burgatory be number 2 on the list of the best burgers you’ve ever eaten?  Well I hate to say it, but they don’t beat out Eat’n Park.  Burgatory sits high up on my list for many reasons, but the biggest reason is that you can customize your burger and add anything you want to it.  You already know I’m putting ranch on this, but I also add American cheese, cheddar cheese, and lettuce.  I get fries with it, even though they don’t compare to Eat’n Park’s.  The only bad thing about this meal is that the burgers are huge and fairly expensive.  I usually can’t finish mine, which is saying something because I can put down some food.  My issue with finishing could however be resolved if I didn’t pregame with an oreo peanut butter milkshake.  Their milkshakes are killer.  I’m lactose intolerant, and I’d take the risk for them any day.  Besides that, Burgatory is a solid meal.  If you want to  get full beyond reasonable expectations, make your way to Burgatory.  I give it an 8/10.


  1. River City Cafe– What on earth is River City Cafe?  Only the best place to get a burger in Myrtle Beach.  They have a whole page on the menu dedicated to burgers.  This place is the real deal.  Over the summer, I got the house burger, which has cheese and lettuce.  Are you picking up that I’m a rather simple girl when it comes to burgers?  I get the same thing every time.  You can’t go wrong with consistency.  My food was fantastic, and the fries were perfect.  They were Eat’n Park level.  I’d go back any day if I could.  The only reason I put it at number 3 was because I’ve only been there once.  I don’t want to overhype a place I’ve only eaten at one time.  However, it was really good, so I think it deserves the number 3 spot.  Overall, 8/10. 


  1. Margaritaville– Margaritaville is probably one of the coolest restaurants I’ve ever eaten at.  Of course I got a burger here because seafood is not my vibe.  I ordered the double burger, stupidly thinking that I was getting two burgers.  We’re just gonna blame that one on being in the vacation state of mind, because I was obviously not thinking logically.  When my burger came, double pattied up, I was shocked.  I completely didn’t take the description in the menu to mean one burger with two patties.  Whatever, I was still going to eat it.  Halfway through I began thinking I might see God that day.  Unfortunately it wasn’t the first time I had that concern during this two week vacation.  That’s a story for another day.  Besides that, the amount of meat on that thing was insane.  I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to eat meat again.  Obviously I did because I’m a hardcore carnivore, but in that moment all I felt was fear and fullness.  Despite that, the burger was pretty good, just impossible to finish.  I’d give it a 7/10.  


  1. Longhorn Steakhouse– You know what, I’m not going to lie, this was the most average burger I’ve ever eaten.  Sure, it was good but it wasn’t anything crazy.  It certainly doesn’t compare to Eat’n Park, but I’d eat it again.  It was a solid meal, but nothing to get excited over.  I’d give it a 6/10.


If you don’t agree with my burger rankings or if I’ve offended you, I’m sorry.  These are my opinions based on my experiences and taste buds.  However, if you’re going to debate any burgers with me, you should probably make sure you’ve had an Eat’n Park burger first.  Then we’ll talk.