The district has found a new, innovative way of preparing for any delinquents that may transfer to Knoch in the near (probably 6 years) future. For the good of the school, and after careful consideration, our I.D.I.O.T. (International Delinquent Immaterialist Officer of Territory) Dr. Gerald Geralds has made a decision that could change Knoch history forever.

“The plan is to buy out Cook’s Cages and Clubs, which is right by the school grounds,” said Dr. Geralds. “We are prepping for a wave of socially unacceptable–for lack of better words–children that may move to Knoch after being expelled from other schools in the Pittsburgh area.”

Knoch happens to be the first school in the U.S.–and in the world–to hire an I.D.I.O.T. Don’t laugh at the name, it’s a very serious position, as there is a lot of work with local government, architects, and state education officials.

Dr. Geralds said, “I definitely didn’t expect to be hired as an ‘I.D.I.O.T.’…especially since graduating from John Jay College of Criminal Justice back in ‘29. Yes…1929.”

Dr. Geralds is claiming to be 121 years old. The passion for justice must never fade.

Dr. Geralds said, “First I had to get approval to hire inmates from the hit show Beyond Scared Straight to be sure that those kids are put in line.”

Dr. Geralds is doing this to bring some national popularity to the town to draw eyes to the new–and highly effective–school. That’s right, the same inmates in each of the chilling episodes of Beyond Scared Straight are coming to make Saxonburg a better place, student-to-student.

Dr. Geralds said, “We have to demolish the whole thing and build a school over it. The blueprint is almost finished, it just needs the approval to add real cages. So all we’ve got to do after that is to start hiring construction workers.”

Since beginning this new project at Knoch, a new Law Enforcement club has been launched to attract students who want to help out with the new school, and assist students who want to join Law Enforcement as a career pathway. If you are a part of the Law Enforcement Club, you are invited to help build the new building after school!

Dr. Geralds said, “There’s not a lot of guys in this rural of an area who are going to want to keep driving to the school every day…so I picked the most reliable source I knew.”

Dr. Geralds might support child servitude.

Dr. Geralds said, “I can’t confirm or deny.”