Like all of my classmates, I have shared my grievances about the school loudly and all too willingly throughout the entirety of me being here. And yes, there are certainly things to grieve about, however I am so thankful that I can walk away from my time here with more to love than I ever would’ve thought.
As easy as school has made it to complain, I looked forward to going more often than I dreaded it. Yes, I would obviously rather not wake up at 6:00 in the morning and almost die trying to make it to school before the doors lock. However, to be already laughing with your friends by 7:40 in the morning is something of a miracle, and something that will be so very rare to come by in our adult futures. The biggest lesson high school taught me was perspective, and that changing just your thought process of “I HAVE to wake up so early to go to school tomorrow” to “I GET to see my friends and spend the day with them” is often all it takes to change the way your whole day goes. Sometimes, it’s not that simple, but so often it is. There are so many days throughout my entire life I wish I could go back and shake myself as soon as I woke up and say, “YOU ARE IN CONTROL! CHOOSE TO MAKE TODAY GOOD!” Because barely ever did I decide that the day would be good and then have a bad day. We’re stuck here for all 7 hours no matter how much we whine baby, so may as well make the most of it! So much of our high school career is controlled by factors out of our hands, so if all it takes is a little self-awareness to control the factor of whether or not the day is good, then let’s get freaking aware.
I realize it’s much easier to feel this way when you’re surrounded by the most uplifting and loving people to be found ‘round these parts, and I give more credit to my friends and teachers than anything else for making every day something to look forward to. It was the most reassuring thing in the world to know that even on the toughest days, Lara would have a smile on my face within minutes or Dara could solve all my problems with just one of her magical hugs. That Paige will rest her head on my shoulder, and Kenzie will be impossibly cheery. That Kristen will make sure “That’s what she said” gets said before anyone else gets the chance. That Bella will give me a sip of her coffee, and Lily a piece of her chocolate. That Trianna’s contagious giggles will infect me and Bailey will really, truly care about any stupid thing I have to blab about. That Grace will do a little dance with me and Abby will be adorable and look perfect. That Ms. Thompson will be impossibly patient and enabling or Mr. Pflugh might surprise us with random pastries or Mrs Lentz will tell us to be safe. That even on days where everyone’s a little grumpy, I care about my people and my people care about me enough to understand and be there to lean on, completely and totally unconditionally. The family I have found here is worth every gas leak and power outage in the world, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Even though every week we count down the days ‘til the weekend, every year the days ‘til summer, we can’ forget the feeling of excitement in our stomachs the first couple days of school, seeing all those school friends you forget are able to make you laugh as hard as they do, who you said you’d see over the summer and never did. At the beginning of the year, obviously I didn’t think about the fact that the next 180 days would be the last ones I ever spend with any of these people. Admittedly, it just kind of hit me the past couple weeks. And now, although I’m thankful I’ll never have to see some faces again, my stomach wrenches itself in a knot over the idea of possibly truly never speaking to some of the people whose faces became oh so familiar and oh so comforting. It doesn’t even seem real that I’ll never be missing multiple days a week to rendezvous on field trips with classes I don’t even belong to with my friends. I could breakdown at the mention of my soccer team and the fact that the family years of playing together has created will never see another family reunion on a too hot summer day at way too early in the morning. It makes me wish I had put more time into maintaining the relationships I built over those couple months every year. It tears me apart that I’ll never have another lunchtime adventure, life-threatening hallway brawl, or dance battle in the back room. I wish I’d been more willing to let myself enjoy my days more often. That I’ll never get another chance to play in the dodgeball tournament, put more effort into an art project, or actually make a deadline. I wish I’d always given everything my all and never stopped putting in the work, because our incomprehensibly selfless teachers and staff deserve more effort than they get. If there were one thing I wish I could tell little, knowingless freshman me, it would be to appreciate every single moment with these people. That before I knew it, I’d be wishing for just a few more days. Just a few more early mornings, just a couple more soccer practices, just one more day with some of my favorite people in the world.
Wish all I want, I am also itching to move onto the next chapter of my life. I didn’t think senioritis would really hit me that hard, but my 26.5 absences are currently telling a different story and I think it’s best for everyone if the reign of terror me and my friends have imposed on this school for the past many years comes to an end. I will forever be in debt to all the effort and time the teachers here have put into my education, and even if the physical school itself is sort of crumbling, the staff here is really something special and I doubt many students get as lucky as to have teachers who care as much as every single one here does. More students owe you all more than they will ever realize, thank you all so much. Peace and love Knoch, stay dirty <3.
